He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
