I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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