I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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