yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
