nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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