Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
