I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
