don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
