Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
