Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
