And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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