just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize