Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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