Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
A+ Viking dick
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
