I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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