whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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