life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
