It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just want to make out with him forever
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
