Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
