new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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