DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he had hair everywhere except his balls
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
