Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
