if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
