The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
