Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
