I wannas sexs uuuuu
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
