You made me cry and you don't even care
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
