I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize