You're completely useless in the revolution.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
