don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My vagina is very pro this idea
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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