that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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