Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
