i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
