The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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