I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
