at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
