There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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