Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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