I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize