I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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