Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
