smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
