he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
