Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
