worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
