I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
