PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
