Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
