Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
