I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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