hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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