she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
