She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is her dick bigger than yours?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
