I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
