I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
